Home Page  » Life Lessons  » Modern Proverbs
  • If you're too open minded, your brains will fall out. 
  • Age is a very high price to pay for maturity. 
  • Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in his shoes. That way, if he gets angry, he'll be a mile away - and barefoot.
  • Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you a mechanic. 
  • Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity. 
  • A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory. 
  • A closed mouth gathers no feet. 
  • If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you've never tried before. 
  • My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance. 
  • Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is serious. 
  • It is easier to get forgiveness than permission. 
  • I have found at my age going bra-less pulls all the wrinkles out of my face. 
  • For every action, there is an equal and opposite government program. 
  • If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip. 
  • Always yield to temptation, because it may not pass your way again. 
  • Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks. 
  • A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good. 
  • Eat well, stay fit, die anyway. 
  • Men are from earth. Women are from earth. Deal with it. 
  • No husband has ever been shot while doing the dishes.
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