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» Life Lessons
» Modern Proverbs
- If you're too open minded, your brains will fall out.
- Age is a very high price to pay for maturity.
- Before you criticize someone, walk a mile
in his shoes. That way, if he gets angry, he'll be a mile away - and barefoot.
- Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than going to a garage
makes you a mechanic.
- Artificial intelligence is no match for natural
stupidity.
- A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
- A closed
mouth gathers no feet.
- If you must choose between two evils, pick the one
you've never tried before.
- My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a
glance.
- Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is serious.
- It
is easier to get forgiveness than permission.
- I have found at my age going
bra-less pulls all the wrinkles out of my face.
- For every action, there is an
equal and opposite government program.
- If you look like your passport picture,
you probably need the trip.
- Always yield to temptation, because it may not pass
your way again.
- Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.
- A
conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.
- Eat well, stay
fit, die anyway.
- Men are from earth. Women are from earth. Deal with it.
- No
husband has ever been shot while doing the dishes.
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