Things That You Learn About Computers In The Movies...
- Word processors never display a cursor.
- You never have to use the spacebar when typing long sentences.
- All monitors display 2 inch high letters.
- High-tech computers, such as those used by NASA, the CIA, or some such governmental
institution, have easy-to-understand graphical interfaces.
- Those that don't will have incredibly powerful text-based command shells that can
correctly understand and execute commands typed in plain English.
- Corollary: You can gain access to any information you want by simply typing "ACCESS
ALL OF THE SECRET FILES" on any keyboard.
- Likewise, you can infect a computer with a destructive virus by simply typing
"UPLOAD VIRUS." Viruses cause temperatures in computers, just like they do in
humans. After a while, smoke billows out of disk drives and monitors.
- All computers are connected. You can access the information on the villain's desktop
computer, even if it's turned off.
- Powerful computers beep whenever you press a key or whenever the screen changes. Some
computers also slow down the output on the screen so that it doesn't go faster than you
can read. The *really* advanced ones also emulate the sound of a dot-matrix printer as the
characters come across the screen.
- All computer panels have thousands of volts and flash pots just underneath the surface.
Malfunctions are indicated by a bright flash, a puff of smoke, a shower of sparks, and an
explosion that forces you backward. See #7, above)
- People typing away on a computer will turn it off without saving the data.
- A hacker can get into the most sensitive computer in the world before intermission and
guess the secret password in two tries.
- Any PERMISSION DENIED has an OVERRIDE function.
- Complex calculations and loading of huge amounts of data will be accomplished in under
three seconds. In the movies, modems transmit data at two gigabytes per second.
- When the power plant/missile site/whatever overheats, all the control panels will
explode, as will the entire building.
- If you display a file on the screen and someone deletes the file, it also disappears
from the screen. There are no ways to copy a backup file-and there are no undelete
- If a disk has got encrypted files, you are automatically asked for a password when you
try to access it.
- No matter what kind of computer disk it is, it'll be readable by any system you put it
into. All application software is usable by all computer platforms.
- The more high-tech the equipment, the more buttons it has. However, everyone must have
been highly trained, because the buttons aren't labeled.
- Most computers, no matter how small, have reality-defying three-dimensional, real-time,
photo-realistic animated graphics capability.
- Laptops, for some strange reason, always seem to have amazing real-time video phone
capabilities and the performance of a CRAY- MP.
- Whenever a character looks at a VDU, the image is so bright that it projects itself onto
- Computers never crash during key, high-intensity activities. Humans operating computers
never make mistakes under stress.
- Programs are fiendishly perfect and never have bugs that slow down users.
- Any photograph can have minute details pulled out of it. You can zoom into any picture
as far as you want to. For example:
- What's that fuzzy thing in the corner? I don't know, let's check.
It's the murder weapon!". "Let's look under the bed for the killers shoes. no,
just some comics books (Marvel 1954, very rare). Let's check the closet shelves...
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