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Worst Analogies Ever Written in a High School Essay

  • He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it
    Joseph, Washington)
  • She caught your eye like one of those pointy hook latches that used to dangle from screen doors and would fly up whenever you banged the door open again.
    (Rich, Fairfax Station)
  • The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn't.
    (Russell, Springfield)
  • McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty Bag filled with vegetable soup.
    (Paul, Silver Spring)
  • From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie, surreal quality, like when you're on vacation in another city and "Jeopardy" comes on at 7 p.m. instead of 7:30.
    (Roy, Washington)
  • Her hair glistened in the rain like nose hair after a sneeze.
    (Chuck, Woodbridge)
  • Her eyes were like two brown in sheet of metal being shaken backstage during the storm scene in a play.
    (Barbara, Alexandria)
  • His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a dryer without Cling Free.
    (Chuck, Woodbridge)
  • The red brick wall was the color of a brick red Crayola crayon. (Unknown)
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